Parents/Teachers Cricket Match

Report by Richard Dale

The annual staff vs parents cricket match once again lived up to its pre match billing, as the match of the season. After winning the toss Murray “Skip” Chancellor carefully surveyed the conditions- a slow outfield from the overnight rain, a little moisture in the air and a light breeze out of the south- ideal swing bowling conditions. One quick glance to his assembled team and they got the message. Taking the field was the only way to get them away from the huge BBQ that had been laid on by the school. Another sausage roll each and any quick singles would be out of the question.

Trusting the new ball to his dynamic pace attack of Jonathan “JB” Black and David “Young” Wise, there was an air of confidence amongst the keen athletes of the parents team. The staff team was batting well, with Chris Bott in normal swashbuckling form. A breakthrough was needed and who better to take up the attack than Tim “Wicket” Wetherill. A lofted delivery with plenty of air and an almost imperceptible dash of spin, and time stood still on the memorial pitch. Bott down the wicket to meet the pitch, beaten by the nuance of a turn, and then it happened- Gerry “Gloves” Brand stumped him. Yes he really did. It was a moment of pure joy for Gloves and considerable surprise for everyone else.

In came Mark Collins who pushed the score along briskly with the Bedales 1st X1 captain Sam Banks. Dicky Dale was beginning to frustrate Banks, mixing up an array of wides, no balls and his trademark bunny hoppers and grass cutters. To the untrained eye this was clearly an appalling over. To the cognoscenti in the team a cleverly planned strategy culminating in the totally intentional full toss that invited Banks to dispatch it - after all it was the first ball of the over that was anywhere near his bat. And so with a mighty heave, the ball sped from his bat- straight to the trusty hands of Skip Chancellor.

Out to the crease strode Andrew Alexander to make up the Dunhurst Duo. As the scoreboard began to tick over, with the pair lightning quick between the stumps (!!), Chancellor looked worried. Will “Sledger” Petrie was called to the attack. A brief exchange between bowler and skipper and the trap was set. Sledger peppered the batsmen with a volley of well chosen words and one liners- and then actually started to bowl. Alexander, visibly still reeling from the verbal assault was left defenseless, and undone leg before by one that seemed pretty straight, but in Sledger’s own words, “turned more than the great Warne to Gatting delivery”.

Collins was forced to retire after the parents kindly allowed him to reach his thirty. With that the staff team bought out to the middle two well known South African sports staff- at least that is, well known to St Edwards School where they teach and indeed the Springbok cricket selectors.

After a flurry of runs, normal service was resumed with Charles Bloem and Ransi Jayatissa together at the crease. Bloem went for a quick one, and Ransi couldn’t. Run out was a cruel way to see the great man depart the crease.

The light worsened considerably as a huge dark shadow fell across the wicket, causing the umpires to confer in the middle, until the assembled fielders pointed out it was just Big Gordy Dale making his way to the wicket. An uncharacteristic single off the last ball of the over saw him take strike against JB. With the field set deep on the boundary, and an air of hushed expectancy amongst the supporters, Gordy was ready. A huge heave of his paddle of a bat, and the ball literally fizzed into the atmosphere at such a rate that most lost sight of its trajectory. Not so the silver fox behind the stumps. “Gloves” , moving like a whippet, was out of his traps before you could say Howzat, and had him caught behind without so much as a hair being out of place.

The last few overs saw Kit and Jack- the Bedales 1st XI answer to Ant and Dec- together at the crease. The good news is that the school has some good strong batsmen coming through the ranks. At the end of the allotted 30 overs the scorebook told the story of the innings- Bedales staff had scored 62, Bedales 1st XI made 47, and South Africa an unbeaten 61. With a smattering of extras the target stood at 200.

And so the stage was set for those two giants of opening batsmen Tim “Older” Wise, and Gentleman Guy Britton. Wise took great comfort from the absence of last year’s female French exchange student bowling under arm, and set about taking this proper bowling attack to task. With runs fizzing effortlessly from both batsmen, the parents’ team started their innings in brisk order. The staff captain Chris Bott looked suitably nervous, and called up to the attack his South African secret weapon. A single pace, a blur of arms, and Wise was undone with one that was simply unplayable- quick, moving off the seam and keeping low. Bring back the French girl we heard him mutter as he wandered back to the pavilion. JB batted strongly for his team, pushing the run rate on with Guy, until an unfortunate misunderstanding left Britton stranded and run out.

The less said about your author’s paltry single the better. Suffice to say that the second unplayable delivery of the day from the South African pace attack spread his stumps like…. a cricket ball hitting the stumps.

The pressure was on as Dave “The Hit Man” Hills took guard. With “Wicket” Wetherill at the other end the scorers struggled to keep up until the partnership was broken up by a classic from Ransi.

And so the key moment of the match arrived. Murray “Skip” Chancellor made his way to the wicket. The crowd was hushed. Children climbed trees to get a better vantage point. Dogs fell silent. The wind dropped and the air was still. If thoughts of a third consecutive duck were on his mind, he wasn’t showing it. With the entire staff team making quacking noises and gathering in close for his first delivery, Skip stood tall. Eleven runs later he was well and truly back where he belonged. He had made the crease his home. Well, temporary home until the South African weapon was once more unleashed.

Sledger Petrie bounded out to the wicket. Unbowed by the catcalls from the fielders, he gave as good as he got. Very rarely in cricket does one witness a batsman sledging the entire fielding team around him, but Sledger is a master of his art, and at the very top of his game. The partnership with Hills was really gathering momentum until an unfortunate miscall and Hillsy was run out for a terrific top scoring 27. It was a cruel end to a brave innings.
In rapidly fading light the parents’ team continued to toil. Toby Brand showed that he is a real chip off the old batting block, going for a duck with an enormous heave that Gerry would have been proud of. And so, the innings drew to a close with Sledger and Wise “The Younger”, carrying their bats.

Once more the scorebook told the story- the parents had scored 92 runs, with the younger Wise and Brand plus extras helping the score to 120.

Nicknames are an essential part of all team sports and none more so than in cricket. The standard procedure is to attach a “y” to the end of the player’s surname. So Smithy, Lamby and Thorpy are all well known. And so, at the end of a glorious day’s cricket, Skip Chancellor presented the trophy to the staff team’s winning Captain- Chris Bott- known to his friends and team as….